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im sorry to say this, but i am very ashamed of you.
you disapprove of everything i love, what am i supposed to feel/think/do?
22:14
Monday, August 16, 2010
do you know what its like to live life like you're taking a walk through a minefield. all those grenades just waiting to explode. straining your ears to hear any audible tension or change in tone. and even when you detect it, your efforts will still be futile, like trying to contain water in your hands.
im sorry i cant make you proud. but i hate how you will use everything i care about against me. its weird how i dont recall you being like this. but then again, i have a knack for forgetting unpleasant incidents.
but i can never forget:
1) how you blamed me for making noise when you were taking a nap, when it was obviously my sister and i dont believe that you cant tell our voices apart.( i must have been around 6 and i think this was the incident that made me realise that you were just biased and there was nothing i could do)
2) how you proudly scanned in my sister's class photos into your computer, when you've never ever even looked at mine.
3) how i kicked the toilet door so hard, cos i was so mad with you for making everybody cry.
4) what happened that day when we were back at our old apartment and mummy and i were trying to clear out the stuff in the fridge. and all i remember was being so angry that i wasnt even scared, as i should have been.
5) how you constantly threaten to send the cats away and the countless arguments and fights it has caused.
p.s im actually just scared stiff that my sister's taking her alevels this year, and i want her to do well so bloody badly, because i know that if she doesn't it'll just be my fault again.
p.p.s im sorry that i feel jealous of other people's perfect families.
18:15
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
5moredays!!!:)
14:22
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
im so sorry. this is all my fault.
16:56
Thursday, June 24, 2010
i wish i could erase this past month, cos it has been nothing short of a disaster for me. that one phone call was my biggest mistake ever, but i never would have thought that the consequences would be so severe. its funny how you always assume that nobody gives a shit about you, when i've always been here for you and i'm sure that you know it too. there're so many things i wish i could say to you, because in spite of all this, i know that there must be a reason for your actions, or rather the lack of them. why cant you just tell me? ;(
16:32
Sunday, June 20, 2010
i really need to stop having conversations with myself in the shower. its just that there's nobody who wants to listen/talk to me about the things i want to talk about, the things that i feel are important to me, but of course, not as crucial or life-changing, as the problems of others.
12:26
Saturday, June 19, 2010
"Olive often imagined there was an orchestra in her heart. Music. Heard only by her, except when her heart broke open and it spilled out into the world." the Narrator, Pushing Daisies.
" As he stared at her, he reached around his back and held his own hand. Pretending he was holding hers, and at that very moment, she was pretending to be holding his." the Narrator, Pushing Daisies.
22:35
Monday, May 24, 2010
00:07
Friday, May 07, 2010
im feeling very thankful today:) my dear friends, i love all of you so much!!!
anyway, xh, this is for you! i think you've probably heard this before, hahah but i've just discovered it, so humor me and listen to it!
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free I know the story inside out I can tell you all about The path that led Him up to Calvary But ask me why He loves me And I don't know what to say But I'll never be the same Because He changed my life when He became...
Everything to me He's more than a story More than words on a page of history He's the air that I breathe The water I thirst for And the ground beneath my feet He's everything, everything to me
We're living in uncertain times And more and more I find that I'm aware Of just how fragile life can be I want to tell the world I found A love that turned my life around They need to know that they can taste and see Now every day I'm praying Just to give my heart away I want to live for Jesus So that someone else might see that He is...
Everything to me He's more than a story More than words on a page of history He's the air that I breathe The water I thirst for And the ground beneath my feet He's everything And looking back over my life at the end I'll go to meet You saying You've been
You're everything to me You're more than a story More than words on a page of history You're everything to me You're more than a story More than words on a page of history You're the air that I breathe The water I thirst for And the ground beneath my feet You're everything Lord, You're everything to me
